Here's one from the better late than never files:

Holier-Than-Thouness & Narcissistic Blogging, Part I of a Possible Two parts

In these dire times I am as deeply distressed by introspective, narcissistic "blogs" as I am by the solitary driver in an SUV on the way to score (whatever) who pointedly ignores the hitch-hiker. Both move on without care for the wider consequences of wasted energy and opportunities for interaction and understanding.

- tony @ abuddhas memes. . .


The above quote, snipped from an August 17, 2003 post by Tony of abbudhas memes appeared in this very space previously on Friday, September 26, 2003 and spawned the following exchange in my comment box:

Sep 28 2003, 02:14 am

Richard, while I commend your desire to engage in some politically relevant blogging, and to not turn your attention away from the outrages that have been thrust upon us; at the same time, I must say that I find Tony's remarks about personal, introspective blogging not only offensive, but a smart-ass, holier-than-thou attitude. I'm rather surprised that you, as a poet and person who makes a worthy contribution to the cleansing art of introspection, gives any credence to this self-appointed arbiter of morality.

- Tom Shugart -


Sep 28 2003, 09:34 pm


Tom,

Thanks for your thoughts re. Tony's perceived "Holier-than-thouness" and my lending of creedence to such a state. Ouch!You have hit a nerve but who's to say that is a bad thing. Pain serves a purpose, after all.

I need to absorb your assessment, consider more deeply the label of a "narcissistic blog", roll these things over and mull them awhile before I can even attempt a proper response.

That response will probably be in e-mail or, perhaps, blog post form, when it comes.

In the meantime, thanks again for commenting.

- me -


Sep 29 2003, 11:53 am

You're welcome, Richard. My question is, is your blog to be condemned as narcissistic because you engage in introspection? Those who would do so betray an inner fright--a sense of inadequacy masked as a smug sense of superiority. Does not your introspection create value for others beside yourself? Isn't the quality of the introspection which you project in your blogging and poetry---isn't this your special gift, and doesn't it deserve to be shared? You're supposed to put that under a bushel for the sake of being politically correct?

I'm sorry, but it reminds me of the negativist ultra-radicals of the 60's who pontificated that if you weren't willing to destroy and steal property and crack some skulls, you were just a self-indulgent bourgeois traitor.

- Tom Shugart -

Here we are now, some two months after the above exchange and I am sorry to say, Tom, that I am still unprepared to offer you a well considered reply. I will, none the less, attempt to articulate a point or two your words raised in my mind.

First, the holier than thou accusation. Yes, I think it would be fairly stated to say that Tony's comment above, isolated as it is or even in the larger context of the 8/17/03 post from which it was plucked, might be fairly said to betray a certain sense of superiority. I cannot agree, however, that Tony is a smart ass motivated by fears of inadequacy. I think there is a fear motivating Tony - the fear of seeing the human race wipe itself out under the Dominator cultural mode, perhaps. I think hope, that we might just get things right, is also a strong influence on Tony. But I'm probably projecting.

If Tony is guilty of smugness, holier-than-thouness, he is not alone in that fault. It is an easy trap for any seeker on the path of Truth to fall into and, funnily enough, an ego trap that I was just reading about in chapter V. of Alan Watts' The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are , when Tom left the words above in my comment box back in September.

The Taoist philosopher Chuang-Tzu described such efforts to be ego-less as "beating a drum in search of a fugitive," or, as we would put it, driving to a police raid with sirens on. Or, as the Hindus say, it is like trying not to think of a monkey while taking medicine, on the basis of the popular superstition that thinking of a monkey will make the medicine ineffective. All that such efforts can teach us is that they do not work, for the more we try to behave without greed or fear, the more we realize that we are doing this for greedy or fearful reasons. Saints have always declared themselves as abject sinners - through recognition that their aspiration to be saintly is motivated by the worst of all sins, spiritual pride, the desire to admire oneself as a supreme success in the art of love and unselfishness. And beneath this lies a bottomless pit of vicious circles: the game, "I am more penitent than you" or "My pride in my humility is worse than yours." Is there any way not to be involved in some kind of one-upmanship? "I am less of a one-upman than you." "I realize more clearly than you that everything we do is one-upmanship." The ego-trick seems to reaffirm itself endlessly in posture after posture.

- from The Book:On The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, Chapter V., So What?, Alan Watts, 1966 -

This, if anything, is Tony's only failing, I think, and one that has troubled great and fine minds.

As for the question of relevant vs. narcissistic blogging which Tony raised and Tom took such umbrage with. . . The central point of relevance for Tony, as stated in the text from which I originally quoted is, in his words, one of addition:

The real, valid reason for publishing on this incredible globally available medium is to add (wealth of understanding independant of wealth); this can be done in as simple a fashion as abuddhas memes, which merely gives a personal context to the eminently haphazard translation of my set, setting, and interest-of-the-mo', or as source-fully convicted and responsible as Alternet.

- tony @ abuddhas memes, 8/17/03 -

Here again Tom might find a whiff of that superior attitude in the assertion that there is but a single real and valid reason for blogging. I think, though, that Tony's idea of a relevant blog must be fairly broad. He was, for instance, one of the first to link to me, a largely personal blogger, a year or so back - implying a value placed on this particular personal blog at least.

But where does the personal end and the universal begin?

This is the question at the bottom of this entire issue. I suspect Tony would agree with me that each of us is a microcosm, a perfect holographic integer containing and reflecting the entire mind and matter of The Universe. Taking such a notion for granted, as I do, it would follow naturally that the idea of a narcissistic blog is a moot issue, a trick question, in the long run at least. There is no part that is separate from the whole no matter how scattered we seem. I believe this.

But this is so grand and abstract a scale. In the microcosm of our daily lives does it matter if a a blog doesn't matter? And, if so, who is to say what in the vastness of time and ever expanding space matters and what does not?

Does a poem posted in this space have more or less value than a politically oriented post? These are questions without definite answers as each post will bring its own value to each reader.

The extent to which that value does or does not exert influence on the larger Mob Mind via the medium of the individual reader is a question to be considered, and one which might lend some weight to the overall value of blogging as a medium of still largely untapped potential.

End Part I

Part II, Is the Narcissistic Blog a Myth and the Dangers of Lazy Blogging, may or may not follow

Our recent Big Sur retreat produced some interesting photos - a few of them almost begin to capture a sense of the superfluous beauty which haunts this stretch of California coast.



- Sun kissed Oak above Deetjen's -




- Sarah and the cat who came to lunch at The Big Sur Bakery and Restaurant -





- Sarah pointing to the light at the end of the tunnel, Partington Cove -





- a view from Partington Cove -




- Aggregated ladybugs along The Tanbark Trail, Partington Canyon. There are a lot of ladybugs in this picture - multiply an approximation of their number by a few million or so to imagine the ladybug jamboree we stumbled upon as we set out on this trail. -




- Angel atop Nepenthe -





- light and shadow along the Tanbark Trail -

If I had the time and energy, I would tell you why Alan Moore is not only one of my favorite writers but, through the medium of his words and recordings, something of a personal guru (follow this link if you care to read, or re-read, one of my past ramblings about Moore and his work).

As it is, however, I have just enough time and energy at the moment to wish Mr. Moore a happy 50th birthday this November 18 and, in fine blog tradition, to provide a few links:

In the week of Alan Moore's 50th birthday and his intended retirement from mainstream comics, Ninth Art presents a look back at its coverage of the industry's greatest innovator, including our interview with the man himself. Ninth Art knows the score.

- The Alan Moore Index, via The Ninth Art, 17 November 2003 -

Also from The Ninth Art and previously linked in this space but well worth another read:

He's the most respected name in comics, but he's leaving it all behind to focus on multimedia performance and magic. To mark our 100th week, Ninth Art talks to Alan Moore about sorcery, opera, and psycho-geography.

- Snake Charmer: An Interview with Alan Moore, Frank Beaton, 31 March 2003 -

And, just a few of my favorites from the man in no particular order:

The Moon and Serpent Grand Egyptian Theatre of Marvels - a magickal working caught on tape!

Promethea - Bringing fire to the human race!

From Hell - Jack the Ripper reconsidered!

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - A disparate group of literary characters unite for Queen and country. The 19th Century was never so much fun!

Back from Big Sur and suffering some kind of miserable urban shock as I move from breathing the earthy air of Redwood trees and sea breeze from the big blue Pacific (swelling out from the sharp teeth of the coast like a vast blue bowl upended) to the streets of San Francisco grimy and littered with debris commercial, literal and, most oppressively, spiritual. San Francisco is a great city, as cities go; but it suffers none the less from the sickness that lies at the heart of most urban developments these days. What is that sickness precisely? Ask me another day. . .

A not inconsiderable portion of fun during our retreats to Deetjen's (Big Sur Inn) over the years has been provided by the guest journals in each of the Inn's unique rooms. The books, filled with the mad scrawlings, poetry difficult and sublime, tender words, strange confessions, fantasies, aspirations and general wisdom and stupidity of decades of guests at the Inn (yours truly included), are a joy to peruse. Here's what I wrote this trip (annotations and photos may or may not follow shortly):

11/4/03

Big Sur - Top Antique @ Deetjen's

Note to self:
You don't exist.

A few things that are real:

- These Redwoods dipping their roots in Castro Creek, reaching for the sun and not far short. . .

- Crows punctuating the wide blue sky above Cafe Kevah @ Nepenthe, sudden black dashes alighting to loiter near tables in search of food. . .

- Ladybugs thick upon the Tanbark Trail, so many uncountable millions that soon as the eye perceives their numbers covering the Redwood Sorrel, the fallen trunks of trees, stalks and leaves of all the flora, it seems a single shiny set of red carapace wings is moving there among the Wood. . .

- The jade pool swirling in sea foam @ Partington Cove. . .

- The gentle Green Faerie of Big Sur, even now growing up and under the eaves of Top Antique. . .

- The westering sun, touching a wind shaped Oak with fleeting gold. . .

- The light in my Sarah's eyes and Love above all.

But you knew that already!

Halloween, it seems, has come upon us.

May I suggest, for your reading pleasure, a favorite ghost story:

Number 13

by M.R. James

Courtesy of The Literary Gothic

And please remember, be careful this time of year- this night in particular - when other worlds draw near.

Travel, if you must travel at all, in pairs and never alone - for there are those who wander the dark without skin or bone, but always hungry for each.

This Sunday, 11/3, will find us back in Big Sur. The Top Antique at Deetjen's awaits.

A few days away, communing with Redwoods, The Sea, Mountains and she who showed me that Love was not only real but essential.

Quote of the moment:

. . . We Shrieks are well pleased with our record, (this side of smugness and occasionally the other) and we obviously hope you will buy it voraciously. But we also want to leave you with an intimation that the universe, all its horrors nonwithstanding, is strange and marvellous; that love is the law and the drug and the pull and the push of all we do; that the pursuit of beauty is useful, honourable, and healing; and that our actions in this time, in choosing forgiveness over vendetta, brilliance over mediocrity, the clean difficult way over the dubious easy option, will determine whether or not we will realise the wealth of possibilities implicit in our existance.

- SHRIEKBACK, LONDON AUGUST '86 -

Just so.

I've got a secret treasure,
it's got a secret shine
and you never will see it
because it's mine, all mine.

I found my secret treasure
in the far fields one day,
clutched in the beak of a great black crow
hung downside up and gently a-sway

at the end of a red silk sash
pinned by a thorn to a wise oak tree.
My treasure gleamed! My treasure Shone!
My treasure whispered, "Return with me. . ."

". . . across these fields to the world of men,
evermore a world apart
if you swallow me now and allow me to burn
beside your beating heart."

So it was I picked my treasure
from the maw of that dead black crow
and returned to the world of men
from fields you will never know,

my treasure shining upon my tongue,
illuming the deep, dark middle of me -
a secret glow, a glorious light
that none will ever see.

The Reasons Why

by

Richard Cody

For

Sarah Cody

No. 3

I love you because
your blue eyes shine!

Faerie glow!
Heaven�s stolen Fire!
Eternal Light that has inspired
talents far grander than mine.

You ought to have symphonies spelling out your name,
portraits painted by genius hands
in honor of that flame

which burns forever bright.

You, my Love, deserve poetry of the rarest air.

I give you this instead
and in my dreams write with ease
lines worthy of your light.

Ugh!

Schwarzenegger Wins Big

- via SF Gate -

But not, I'm happy to report, in my backyard:

Bay Area doesn't follow the state trend
Recall of governor losing by wide margin as 8 of 9 counties vote to keep Davis

- via SF Gate -

Sarah and myself will be heading to the polls bright and early tomorrow to throw our collective 4 cents into the historic California fiasco, mockery of democracy, recall election.

What I wrote regarding the candidates prior to the actual election back in November of last year remains true today (despite the fact that the list of would be governors has changed and swollen to some 135 candidates):

. . .I shudder at the thought of Republican Bill Simon gaining the governor's seat and, fearful that a vote for a third party candidate will only aid Simon at this point in time, I find myself leaning toward Gray Davis - the Democrat incumbent whom I would rather not endorse but must if I would prevent a Republican stranglehold on this country. . .

Right now, of course, I am shuddering at the thought of waking up Wednesday morning to find Arnold Schwarzenegger governor of the Golden State.

Leak probe likely to expand beyond White House, CIA, officials say

. . . In Congress, Democrats and Republicans sparred over whether a special counsel should be appointed to investigate. Democrats contend an agency headed by Bush appointees cannot adequately investigate the administration. Republicans have labeled that claim politically motivated. . .

- CURT ANDERSON, Associated Press Writer via SF Gate -

Certainly there can be little or no doubt that the Democratic call for a special investigatory counsel is largely politically motivated. This is a rich accusation, however, coming from The GOP. Are we to believe, for instance, that if the parties were reversed in this situation, The Republicans would not be clamoring for a special counsel? Clearly this is a spurious argument. Anybody with two working brain cells can see that there is a conflict of interest in having Bush appointed officials investigate the Bush Administration. According to an An ABC-Washington Post poll referenced in the article linked above I am not alone in this opinion.

An ABC-Washington Post poll found 69 percent of Americans, including 52 percent of Republicans, believe a special counsel should be appointed. A substantial majority, 72 percent, said it's likely that someone in the White House leaked the classified information. . .

Not that I'm given to quoting polls, typically taking all such numbers with a grain or two of salt and keeping in mind the famous quote attributed by Mark Twain to Benjamin Disraeli:

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics.

But this is a digression. I'll let the folks at MoveOn.org pull me back to the cenral fact at issue in this post - and I will urge you, dear reader (if you are a U.S. citizen and, like me, you are ashamed to admit that for fear of being associated with the liars, war mongers and greedy opportunists currently sitting in The White House) to add your name to their call for a special prosecutor at the link below:

Investigate the White House

According to the Washington Post, "two top White House officials" committed a high crime in the first weeks of July. They handed over the identity of an American secret agent to journalists. Republicans contend that an investigation by the Justice Department will reveal any wrongdoing. But Justice Department chief John Ashcroft -- who was appointed by President Bush and who employed key Bush advisor Karl Rove -- is hardly neutral. If we don't speak up now, the investigation could be left in John Ashcroft's hands, and the perpetrators and the crime could be swept under the rug. That's why we believe:

"Attorney General Ashcroft must appoint a special prosecutor to investigate the White House's role in revealing an undercover CIA agent's identity. This act was a breach of national security and a felony and should be investigated by an independent party."

Please join us. . . We'll send your comments to John Ashcroft and your representatives in Congress at important times during our campaign.

- MoveOn.org -

14 years ago

I kissed you for the first time

in this existence


- Happy Anniversary, Sarah,
my heart -

"Who watches the watchmen?"


Data backing Iraq war called weak

Leaders of the House intelligence committee have criticized the U.S. intelligence community for using largely outdated, "circumstantial" and "fragmentary" information with "too many uncertainties" to conclude that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and ties to al Qaeda.

- Dana Priest, THE WASHINGTON POST via MSNBC -

To focus this investigation into the current Administration's case for war on the alleged failure and incompetence of the intelligence community is to lose sight of a larger and much more instructive picture. It is a picture which we may find includes , if we could just peek through the mist of lies which obscures the lines and details, the elusive architects of 9/11.

Has not the U.S. intelligence community also taken the fall, or much of it, for failing to prevent the attacks of that horrible September day?

Can you say scapegoat? We've got a big one here, folks, in the form of "The Intelligence Community". To whom does this goat belong? looks to me like this particular animal bears the brand The Bush Administration.

It certainly seems to me that George W. and his cabal have something to hide.

Bush's 9/11 Coverup?

While the administration of President George W. Bush is aggressively positioning itself as the world leader in the war on terrorism, some families of the Sept. 11 victims say that the facts increasingly contradict that script. The White House long opposed the formation of a blue-ribbon Sept. 11 commission, some say, and even now that panel is underfunded and struggling to build momentum. And, they say, the administration is suppressing a 900-page congressional study, possibly out of fear that the findings will be politically damaging to Bush

"We've been fighting for nearly 21 months -- fighting the administration, the White House," says Monica Gabrielle. Her husband, Richard, an insurance broker who worked for Aon Corp. on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Center's Tower 2, died during the attacks. "As soon as we started looking for answers we were blocked, put off and ignored at every stop of the way. We were shocked. The White House is just blocking everything."

Another 9/11 family advocate -- a former Bush supporter who requested anonymity -- was more blunt: "Bush has done everything in his power to squelch this [9/11] commission and prevent it from happening."

- Eric Boehlert, Salon.com via Information Clearing House-

Even now, it must be pointed out, the so called "Independent" Commission trying to get over the Bush Administration's stone wall and into the truth at the bottom of 9/11 is chaired by a Republican hand picked by Bush.

Bush Nominates Himself to Chair 9/11 Investigation

It is vital in this to remember that the Bush administration thwarted this independent investigation for 18 months, until they got the two things they wanted. One was a requirement that any subpoenas would be issued only after six of the ten people on the commission voted for it. The commission is composed of five Democrats and five Republicans. If a particular subpoena seems to cut too close to the political bone, the Republicans on the committee need only stand shoulder to shoulder to stop it.

The other requirement the Bush administration demanded was the right to pick the chairman of the commission.

- William Rivers Pitt, TruthOut.com via Altarnet -

The second anniversary of 9/11 has come and gone completely unmarked by yours truly.

This is hardly surprising in light of the fact that it has been quite some time since I have filled this space with any socio-political vitriol.

Tony at Abuddhas has inspired me to leap once more into the fray with a (relatively) recent post he made regarding the power of blogging - here's a snip:

In these dire times I am as deeply distressed by introspective, narcissistic "blogs" as I am by the solitary driver in an SUV on the way to score (whatever) who pointedly ignores the hitch-hiker. Both move on without care for the wider consequences of wasted energy and opportunities for interaction and understanding.

Now, with the aid of those fine subversive folks at Disinfornmation, who have corralled a number of 9/11 related articles right here, I hope to begin making amends for my blog silence on these vital matters by highlighting some of the pieces they have made available to anybody with eyes to see beyond the lies fed to us by the Bush propaganda machine.

9/11/01: Where Was George?

September 11 is often said to be the defining moment in the Bush presidency, even of modern history. How strange, therefore, that Bush's behavior that morning--along with that of his Administration--is almost never examined in any detail. This is all the more incredible when one considers the fact that 9/11 is among the most exhaustively chronicled days in human history and Bush among its most heavily covered individuals. No less odd has been the media's willingness to let the many inconsistencies in White House stories pass unexamined.

- Eric Alterman, The Nation -


Quest for Truth, 9/11 Widows Fight Government Stonewalling

So afraid is the Bush administration of what could be revealed by inquiries into its failures to protect Americans from terrorist attack, it is unabashedly using Kremlin tactics to muzzle members of Congress and thwart the current federal commission investigating the failures of Sept. 11. But there is at least one force that the administration cannot scare off or shut up. They call themselves "Just Four Moms from New Jersey", or simply "the girls".

- Gail Sheehy, Free-Times.com -


A Post 9-11 Reality Check
The Soaring Cost of Iraq 'Peace,' the Soaring Cost of Life in America

You may think 9-11 is the somber anniversary of a terrible event in American history, but for the Bush campaign managers it is yet another opportunity for spin.

- James Ridgeway with Phoebe St John, The Village Voice -


WHY DON'T WE HAVE ANSWERS TO THESE 9/11 QUESTIONS?

NO EVENT IN recent history has been written about, talked about, or watched and rewatched as much as the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 - two years ago today.

Not only was it the deadliest terrorist strike inside America, but the hijackings and attacks on New York City's World Trade Center and the Pentagon in Washington were also a seminal event for an information-soaked media age of Internet access and 24- hour news.

So, why after 730 days do we know so little about what really happened that day?

- William Bunch, Philadelphia Daily News -

5/19/03

a neighbor sobbing

on this warm May night -

all windows open. . .


9/22/03

There she is again

sobbing in the night, her sadness

ours

Two of the submissions mentioned below have already come home to roost! Thanks to the editors for their quick responses. If only they had born better news. At times like this I am reminded of a classic (for me, at least) Charles Schultz Peanuts strip wherein we see Snoopy atop his dog house writing a letter to an editor who has, apparently, made a habit of sending the imaginative beagle's stories back to him. Snoopy writes, as I recall (it's been a while since I've seen this particular strip), something to this effect:

"Dear editor, why do you keep sending my stories back to me? Don't you know you are supposed to publish them and make me rich and famous?"

As I suggested nearly two years ago in my very first blog post, I write primarily for myself. This remains true but so does the fact that I consider what I write worth sharing with others, most of the time. Toward that end I have made myself busy this past week, submitting a variety of fiction and poetry to five different publishers as follows:

One poem, long and previously seen here and over at Ray's old place, to The Salt River Review . It remains to be seen whether or not the editors will consider a blog appearance as previous publication. I hope not as their guidelines indicated that they would not accept work that had already seen the light of day, though the poem has been revised slightly - so I could argue that it is not the same piece that I have featured here or that was honored by Ray.

Three poems to Tebot Bach's (it's welsh for "teapot"!) New Anthology of California Poetry

One long short story to Omnidawn. Actually, only 3,666 words of more than 11,000 per their guidelines.

One short story, previously published in '98, to Dhazie Book's upcoming anthology, Mean. I am pleased to note that I did not have much to offer the folks at Dhazie books on the subject of mean except for this previously published short. Thank goodness previous publication is not an issue for them.

And, Finally, a bunch of haiku inspired forms from my journal to The Heron's Nest.

The odds are that most of this stuff will come back rejected, and it wouldn't be the first time for some of the pieces, but I am hoping for at least two acceptances from this group of submissions.

This and That

This: My comments have been on again off again the last three days or so due to a YACCs server issue.

That: The much appreciated spell check feature included in BloggerPro does not, ironically enough, recognize the word blog or any of it's variations - i.e. blogger, blogging, blogged, etc.

No sooner do I curtail my blogging time, in order to more fully pursue the sacred path of my art, than I find this blog has made the Big Time (whatever that is. It sure doesn't seem to involve much new traffic to this site), given a link in the August 29, Dallas Morning News, religion feature Blogging for GOD - Web sites serve as spiritual diaries, chronicling opinions and musings on faith (The Dallas Morning News requires free registration for access to this story).

This blog is one of 12 or so Buddhist blogs listed under the heading Sacred Cyberspace. I am honored to be included in this group, of course, but I couldn't have done it without Buddha or Blogger.

An Inspiration, a Declaration and about 500 Words Between

I am more famed in Heaven for my works than I could well conceive. In my Brain are studies & Chambers filld with books & pictures of old which I wrote & painted in ages of Eternity before my mortal life; & whose works are the delight & Study of Archangels. Why then should I be anxious about the riches or fame of mortality. The Lord our father will do for us & with us according to his Divine will for our Good.

- William Blake, excerpted from a letter to John Flaxman, 9/21/1800 -

William Blake is a constant inspiration to me. The lines above, for instance, have remained with me a month or more after reading them. What a vision this man possessed, or was possessed by. If only I could share a meager ounce of that Sight. Thank God for people like Blake, to illumine the way for those of us who don't shine quite as bright.

We strive to shine, none the less.

I wish that I shared Blake's faith in a "Divine will for our Good". I feel that I should. I have that instinct, that hunger for God deep in the center of me. I know that there is something greater than my tiny self but I'm not convinced it gives a goodgoddamn about me. Sarah tells me that I am The Beloved of The Universe and I know in that same deep place that she is right. But where is my Faith in that Love?

I'm just dubious by nature, I suppose.

Something is moving in me, though. Divine Will or my own? It has fomented a decision which has been a long time brewing. Surely, I have lined this very space previously with words regarding my struggles in the trenches of the blogging vs. "Real" writing debate. Surely it was a debate still carried on within my heart and skull if not on this blog.

You see, I can't help comparing what I do with this blog and what I could, should be doing in a notebook, a word document. Blogging vs. writing. It is, of course, a ridiculous proposition. This blog offers definite creative rewards and might just give to the world more than I can know. How can I measure the value of blogging?

But even as I type these words in favor of blogging I feel that they are a defensive fence -I feel compelled to set it up because I believe in it, but it will snap and break under greater truths.

The writing of poetry and stories is of greater worth to me than the maintenance of this blog. But the on-line reading and writing known as blogging is occupying 89% (according to recent studies) of my creative time.

There are stories untold languishing behind my eyes. Poor Jarny has been left hanging between life and death in an elevator for more months than I can remember. Ideas for short stories blossom and wilt from lack of nurturing in my brain. The narrative that was born in this space as two initially separate vignettes is beginning to clamor for my attention.

It is, as I say, an attention divided. It is battle enough for me to indulge The Muse against the well of idleness that sucks at my aspirations and ambitions. This blog, the reading and writing of blogs, is a distraction I am beginning to see I can do without. I must write down, or at least try to, those stories in my head.

It is maddening, in its way, to glimpse them there, waiting to receive my gaze, to show me places and faces I will never know if I don't look soon. It is a gift, I know, the ability to see through to that place where dreams and stories come from. It is not a gift I wish to squander.

Unlike Blake above, I am unsure of the status of my immortal works in Heaven. I can't say if the Angels are shaking their heads in wonder or disgust. So I gotta' keep trying. Toward that end I make the following personal and public declaration:

After not unlengthy consideration, I state that hereby and henceforth this blog will relieve itself of its weight, both social and creative, upon me. Blogging in general will take a secondary place in whatever passes for my scheme of things. I will update this space on a regular if not frequent basis - say once a week or so. Blog reading, or rolling as I suppose it's called, will not cease but may become erratic. I am refocusing energy. I am painting stripes on tigers. I am pinning dragons to the edges of maps. I am, in the words of Shriekback, "Hauling the Kraken up with blocks and chains".

Wish me luck, folks.

And remember. . . I'm still here. The notes are just being dispatched a little less frequently. I'm going inside to play.